A New Friend Told Me She Wanted to Punch Me in the Face… Yeah. That is exactly how I felt too. Like, whoa… what??
Ok, let me back up a little.
I met this woman at networking events. We will call her Mal, because I am pretty sure she is going to read this. We are both small business hustlers, both in technology, and our work actually complements each other. Over time, we got to know each other in that surface-level networking way. You know, chatting once a week in a group, swapping business updates, smiling politely.One day it hit me: this chick is pretty cool.
So I worked up the courage to ask her out for coffee. And if I am being honest, it was not just about coffee. I wanted to know how she did it all. She is a minivan mom, runs two businesses, and casually shows up to an 8am weekday meeting with homemade breakfast for the group. Homemade. On a freaking weekday. And her comment to the group? “Well if you just put a little more effort in…”. I can’t even get out of my pajamas as I’m getting the girls out the door!
She clearly had her life together. Or so I thought.
At the same time, I was reading Let Them by Mel Robbins, and everything was starting to click. That constant comparison. That quiet assumption that everyone else has it figured out while you are barely holding things together.
The truth is, what did I really know about Mal? At best, I saw her for maybe an hour a week, in a group setting, with everyone wearing their best professional face.
We ended up having a fabulous lunch. After that, we started texting, and she gave me some advice that was incredibly grounding. Real-world advice. The kind you only get when someone drops the reality check bomb on you and tells you what is actually happening behind the scenes.
Meanwhile, I was pouring my heart out. I told her how I felt like I was struggling in almost every area of my life. Home, work, routines, balance, motivation. All of it felt messy and overwhelming.
And then she said it.
She told me she wanted to punch me in the face. Because from her perspective, she saw a very organized woman who was building systems for her family. Systems that actually worked. Someone who had it together.I could not believe it. I felt so far from having it together. Yet here was someone I admired, someone I assumed had it all figured out, looking at me thinking the exact same thing.
That was my wake-up call.
The grass really is always greener. Even as adults. Especially as adults. We want more and we can create that reality if we shift our perspectives.
Mel Robbins reinforced it perfectly. We look at snapshots of other people’s lives and create entire stories that are not rooted in reality. We turn admiration into comparison, and comparison into self-doubt.It felt like all the stars were aligning to shake me awake. To remind me that motivation is not handed to us. It is something we have to create. Something we have to revisit daily. Something we have to fight for when things get hard.
Here is today’s takeaway: I am a work in progress. I didn’t have all the answers. And I need to love the journey. Instead of worrying about how to get the life someone else has, I get to decide what I want and whether I am willing to fight for it. If I want it badly enough, I will do the work. If not, I will let it go. And just like that, I took my power back.
I am not jealous of Mal. Well, not as much. Instead of letting that feeling turn into frustration or resentment, I leaned into friendship. I chose curiosity. I chose learning from someone with incredible wisdom.
And by the way, she told me that as her friend, I can always punch her in the face too.
Maybe that is what adult friendship looks like. Honest. Supportive. A little unfiltered. And exactly what you need when you are in the middle of figuring things out. Thank you, Mal!
Now I bet people will want to punch me in the face for having the time to get a post out, well let me tell you, I’ve been opening and closinging this page with the intention of getting back to things for months. So I did it. Just to try it out once more. See how it feels. Did you enjoy it? Find a way to bring it in your life. Need more time? Really evaluate your time and think of it like a precious budgeted resource because it really is. Protect it and really understand what you are giving your time to so you can get control back of your time!