Weight loss journey update. Ok so where was I… oh yeah. I had just gained 30 of the almost 100 I worked my butt off to lose.
And thats the part that messes with your head, right? Because I had learned so much. It wasnt like I forgot what to do. So what the hell happened?
I was in a phase of my life where I felt like I lost control again. And it made me start asking a bigger question: do we really have control? I grew up with the notion that our bodies just don’t lose weight in our family, it was the ultimate understanding that I had been told over and over by my family who also struggled to lose weight. Ok so now what?
So I backed up and asked myself a simpler one: what do I actually have control over, and what dont I? I even made a list of things I could do to at least get back on track.
I wish I could say it worked right away. It didnt.
I thought about joining Weight Watchers again. I joined the gym. I went swimming one time over six months.
Not exactly the comeback story, despite me posting the proud picture on Facebook of me getting back into that gym.
But I didnt force the gym. I didnt force the food. I decided to make one very big step that was actually small. I just did it. I re-signed up for Weight Watchers again in 2024, what’s one more time?
And then… nothing.
I stayed the same weight for another six months, sometimes gaining a few pounds, sometimes having the joy of losing a few.
It was discouraging in that specific way thats hard to explain unless youve lived it. You are doing the thing. You are showing up. And the scale is just sitting there like, “Cute effort.”
But I stayed on the plan anyway. I kept going to my virtual moms Weight Watchers meeting (which I still go to religiously, Hi Coach Emily K.!). I watched the weight hang out, up and down, up and down. It never changed… until a moment where it did.
And honestly, I cant even look back and point to the one thing that made the weight come off. It was more like random acts of motivation. One month increments where I took off 3 pounds and then focused on keeping those 3 pounds off. Then another 3. Then another.
Before I knew it, I was back to 207. My previous lowest recorded weight since I was 12.
Then I got under 200 and I remember thinking, there is no way I could go lower.
And then I caught myself.
Because Ive learned that those words, “there is no way,” are usually just fear dressed up as facts.
So instead of telling myself “no way,” I pulled out the spirit of curiosity.
I wonder if I track for one more week if I would lose one more pound.
So I did.
And then I wondered it again the next week. There were weeks I miserably failed but what is the point of moving forward if I can’t make something out of that “failure”. (See that, failure, went into quotes, mindset baby!)
I kept going and eventually I hit my goal weight, which I didnt even know what it was until I found it. I bounced around. I tested what felt sustainable. I landed in a place where I felt like I could maintain without feeling like I was starving.
And just to be clear: it wasn’t a perfect straight line. I had depression where I ate too much or forgot to eat at all. I went on ADHD meds and suddenly didn’t realize I needed to eat (of course after I got the pounds off). I’ve lived through everything in between.
I have so much to share, and I really cant wait. I will touch on everything in more detail over the upcoming months.
But I will leave you with this thought of the day:
There is no ending to my weight loss journey.
This is something I am always going to battle. Some days will be good, some not great. And I need to do better about giving myself grace while I am learning and growing.
Screw “getting back on track.”
Life is not a railroad track. Its more like a Chicago expressway.
Cruising down the highway just trying not to get hit. Missing exits. Almost missing exits. Screaming kids in the car. GPS losing connection. It really is a mess.
So lets not obsess over “back on track.”
Lets just get back to Chicago.
And we will figure it out there.
