This year I decided to do something different.
I am committing to 12 months, 12 books, all recommended by 12 different friends. The idea itself is simple, and the image above says most of it, but the why matters more to me than the number.
I realized I tend to read inside the same circles. Library displays. TikTok creators I already follow. Facebook groups. Book clubs. Even when the recommendations feel new, we are often all orbiting the same titles. The same voices. The same influencers.
So instead, I reached out on Facebook and asked people I do not regularly talk to what books shaped them, moved them, or stayed with them. Not my usual sounding board. Not my closest circle. Just readers whose paths do not overlap with mine very often.
The result was this list. Some books were already on my radar. Others I had never heard of. And that felt like the point.
I decided to start with The Let Them Theory, a book my friend Ellen bought me to kick off my New Year and what feels like a new path.
And honestly? I started this book riding a high.
At first it felt like permission. Permission to stop caring so much. Let them be rude. Let them be judgy with their beady little eyes. There is a time and a place for manners, but sometimes people are just going to people. And Mel does not sugarcoat that.
But what surprised me most is that this book is not just about “Let Them.”
It is also about “Let Me.”
And that second part is where things got real.
When the message hits close to home
The other day I caught myself spiraling about something that made absolutely no sense. I was convinced another group of moms must have a group chat. And I wanted a group chat. I was annoyed about it. Actually, I was mad.
Why? I am still not totally sure.
These women are not my friends. They do not text me. I just wanted the idea of the group.
Old me would have sat in that feeling and let it ruin my mood.
Instead, I stopped and thought, okay. Let them.
Then came the harder part. Let me.
So I went out and found another local moms book group and joined it. I took action instead of sitting in resentment over something I was never actually a part of. Who knows if I will actually go or read the book but you know what, I felt a sense of peace that I took control of the situation and I made a change based on my feelings and my moods. I clearly was getting upset for a need for a social group that can relate to me, I need to find it and create it.
That shift alone sums up the heart of this book.
What the book really reinforces
We cannot control what other people think, feel, say, or judge. We all make snap decisions based on our own experiences, biases, and history. So why do we expect others to operate differently?
What we can control is how much weight we give those thoughts and actions in our own lives.
Mel touches on marriages, kids, close friendships, distant friendships, and everything in between. And as a 45-year-old woman with two kids, two dogs, a messy house, anxiety, ADHD, work, businesses, and volunteer commitments, this message landed hard.
I realized how often I let other peoples moods dictate my own. Someone is grumpy and my energy drops. Someone is distant and my brain fills in the blanks. Someone does not include me and suddenly I am questioning myself.
Letting go of that is not automatic. It takes practice. It takes self-talk. And it takes recognizing when something simply is not yours to carry. I made it sound really easy but I am giving it a try, if I am getting mad about how someone is acting or a situation is unraveling that I am not even a part of, I need to step back. Remember Not my circus, not my monkeys. But what happens when you realize your monkeys need more?
The honest takeaway
If I am being completely transparent, this book also left me feeling a little isolated. Like, okay, I understand what I need to do. Now how do I actually implement it?
But maybe that is not a flaw.
Maybe that is the work. No one is going to hand me the spark inside of me that create motivation, only I can do that and sometimes that spark is lit under my ass and I need to just go with it. Just don’t think about it, take one step. That could be texting a friend you haven’t spoken to in a while, go ahead and look at your text lists and find #15 on the list. Is this someone you want to have some kind of relationship with? Then fan that spark and just say “I apologize I don’t have a lot of time to chat but I wanted to leave a message that I was thinking about you and hope you have a great day.” Then walk away, what happens after that is no longer in your court.
This book helped me create a framework for my mindset as I grow into the unknown. It did not hand me a checklist or a perfect plan. What it gave me was permission. Permission to stop chasing validation and start choosing myself more intentionally.
Thought of the Day
Learning techniques like these only work if you talk about them. Reflect on them. Try them on. See how they fit your life.
These books are written for the general public. You may relate deeply to parts of them and not at all to others. Do not get stuck trying to apply everything perfectly.
Focus on who you want to be.
Pick and choose what actually serves you.
Leave the rest behind.
And remember this above all else:
Be picky. You deserve it.
